This dang thyroid

Posted on February 3, 2012 by terri

First, an update on the pumping. I think adding the extra session at night is helping. Brodie’s also eating more often (although not as much), so that’s probably boosting my supply as well. We’ll see if this keeps up. I’m at least able to add more back to the freezer stash, so in case it tanks again later, I can extend the amount of time he’s getting milk.

So about this thyroid of mine. The blood work confirmed I’m hyper again. All the signs were there, so I would’ve been really surprised if I was still in the normal range (it’s happened before). The doc has me starting back on methimazole at 10 mg a day. I had done a lot of research prior to my appointment, trying to figure out what my best option was. Only until recently, PTU was the preferred antithyroid medication for breastfeeding women, but now there are studies showing adverse effects in children. With methimazole, 20-30 mg is the safest dosage before it shows up in amounts in breastmilk that can suppress the baby’s thyroid function. Brodie’s pediatrician will need to keep an eye on his thyroid function anyway.

I also have a script for propranolol, which is a beta blocker. Hopefully, the methimazole will get to work quickly, and I won’t even need the beta blocker. But on days when my heart is racing and pounding, I’ll at least have something to help me sleep better at night.

Now that I have my drugs in hand, I have a crazy year ahead of me (as if I didn’t have enough on my hands with raising another human being!). The weight fluctuations, for one, will be a huge headache. Last weekend, I had to actually buy new jeans a size smaller. Thank goodness for Old Navy and Costco for affordable, decent-looking jeans. I don’t mind gaining a bit of fat back so I can wear my existing wardrobe, but I’d really like to not gain so much more that I’ll need to go another size up (like last time).

Also, I’m going to be in my good friend’s wedding at the end of the year. Last time I was on these meds, I was in Jenny’s wedding (uh… and my own), which made ordering the right dress size a bit tricky.

Anyway, here we go again. Round 2 of getting my thyroid back to normal. Joe and I talked about treatment options moving forward. I think once we’re done having kids, I’ll be getting this sucker zapped at the next flare-up so I don’t have to go through all this unpredictable chaos. It’ll mean replacement hormones for the rest of my life and constant blood work to maintain the right levels, but I really don’t know how many more times I can deal with the panic, the hair loss, the weight loss, the goiter, the heart palpitations, the hot flashes, the tremors and just feeling like a crazy basketcase.

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Pumping enough

Posted on January 31, 2012 by terri

Fair warning: Yes, this is another post about breastmilk. If you feel uncomfortable reading about it, just skip this post. I realize that if you’ve never had to deal with breastmilk, you probably don’t give a rat’s ass to read about milk and boobs. It’s okay though. I didn’t care all that much until I was faced with it myself.

Like a lot of working moms, I have a very love/hate relationship with my breast pump. I love that it lets me provide milk for my baby while I can still bring home a paycheck. But I hate that I’m *barely* pumping enough for what he eats during business hours. It is NOT fun to be hooked up to this annoying machine. I know I shouldn’t watch the bottles to see how much is trickling in there, but I can’t help it. I’m more stressed out by not knowing if anything is coming out at all.

It took the first 2 weeks of pumping at work for me to relax enough to get a letdown. The third week of pumping at work was more about trying to get a routine down so I could get in and out within 25-30 minutes. By the fourth week (last week), I noticed that even with a letdown, I was coming up short by an ounce or two.

I’m trying not to make the mistake of filling the rest of his bottles from the freezer stash because that will lead to even more supply issues. Eventually, I’d run out of what’s in the freezer if I’m not constantly replacing those ounces.

Last night as I was adding in one more pumping session before heading to bed, I thought about how I kind of missed having an oversupply. In those first couple of months, my body hadn’t regulated itself yet, and I could easily get 4 oz out of the right side without even experiencing a letdown. Now, I’m getting 2 on a good pump WITH a letdown.

So I’m drinking mother’s milk tea 3 times a day and just guzzling water. I refill my 32 oz nalgene bottle a few times during the work day. So far, I’m just needing to pee a lot and not seeing an increase yet. I’m going to get in as many nursing sessions with Brodie this weekend as I can since that’s really the only surefire way to maintain/increase my supply. We’ve had really busy weekends with birthdays that he’s probably not getting the unlimited access that he needs and that my body needs to make more.

I think supply dwindling after going back to work is the most common problem I’ve heard among my breastfeeding friends, and it makes me sad that we all have to deal with this if we want or need to work. I know formula isn’t the end of the world if we end up needing to supplment. Since I was a formula fed baby and turned out JUST fine, I certainly don’t look down on it. But I do want to keep working with my body to provide what I can for Brodie for however long as he or I will allow.

Here’s hoping I can provide him as much fresh milk as I can and having enough of a freezer stash for when he’s on solids until he’s ready for cow’s milk. Oh, and selfishly, I want to keep breastfeeding to burn those extra 600 calories a day. :) I’ll need the extra burn for when I get my thyroid regulated because otherwise, I’m going to balloon. Fun times, right?

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Using a spoon

Posted on January 26, 2012 by terri

Brodie’s been joining us at the table at dinner for a while now, and he’s been studying how we shovel food into our mouths. He actually got pissed the other day when I was eating in front of him. He will just STARE at your food (which I guess is definitely something he got from me… mmm… those fries sure do look good…).

I’m so not ready to start him on solids. I know that at 4 months old, his system is getting to be mature enough to start, but I’m not ready for the mess, the prep and the poops. Instead, we tried an experiment. I poured half an ounce of breastmilk into a clean little dish and spoon fed it to him. He let the first few spoonfuls dribble out of his mouth and kind of made a face at the process. But by the 10th spoonful, he was actually taking it! He’ll even open his mouth a tiny bit when I come in with the spoon, and then I tip it onto his tongue.

I think we’ll keep practicing with the spoon with milk for the next couple months. I want to make sure he’s super comfortable with it. And then as he approaches 6 months, we’ll start on solids.

He’s come a LOOOONG way to get accustomed to the bottle, so if we can get him going well with the spoon, a cup could be next. I’m so stinking excited that he’s open to practicing so we won’t have to fight trying solid foods AND using a spoon at the same time.

No pictures this round yet. I just thought I’d give it a try. We’ll take pics this weekend when Joe gives it a whirl.

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I need to practice more yoga

Posted on January 25, 2012 by terri

Among my checklist of to-do’s (renew car registration, get my bloodwork done, replace my cracked windshield), I desperately need to get myself back into a regular yoga practice. I came across this article on Psychology Today about the stress-relieving effects of yoga. Western culture tends to focus on just the asanas (physical poses) for shaping your body, but it’s everything else about yoga that is so good for your health.

Ujjayi breathing
Drishti (focal point)
Being present
Doing only what you can and not pushing yourself into pain

I used my yoga practice to get through labor. I used my yoga practice anytime I felt nauseous or motion sick on a plane. I used my yoga practice to keep from freaking out about my thyroid.

This last one is what’s prompting this post.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about thyroid disease postpartum and the effects of thyroid-related medication for nursing mothers. My endocrinologist warned me that many mothers will see their Graves or Hashimoto disease come back a few months after delivery, even if it’s been in remission (as mine has). Four months postpartum, and I’m definitely feeling many of the unsettling symptoms. Add to that all the stress of transitioning back to work and the challenges we’ve had with the bottle and sleep, and my Graves disease is likely being exacerbated.

The other night, my heart was pounding so hard, I couldn’t seem to mentally calm down. I took a pill of atenolol (beta blocker) that I still had. I thought I remembered seeing that beta blockers were okay for nursing mothers, but researching more on it yesterday, atenolol specifically has potential long term effects on breastfed babies. So… obviously, I’m not doing that again. The research on breastmilk is so spotty in general, that I’m not even sure I’ll feel comfortable taking medications that aren’t being well studied for safety. And this is where I need yoga to come in.

I need it to help me de-stress and tell all those chemical reactions that prep for fight-or-flight to go away. I need it for everything that goes with not having inflammation in the body. I need it to help me get mentally focused when I’m feeling so scatterbrained.

I’ve gotten on the mat maybe 6 times since Brodie arrived. I don’t even care about burning fat or toning up. I just want to feel better already. Deep breaths in and out of my nose. Focus on my drishti. Om.

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The 4 month wakeful period

Posted on January 23, 2012 by terri

My mind is a mushy mess today. Not just because I’m sleep deprived and dealing with congestion that could be allergies or could be daycare germs. Or that I know my thyroid is completely out of whack as my hands tremble and my heart pounds as if I’ve run a 5K even though I’ve been sedentary. No, today my mind is putty because I learned Brodie’s sketchy sleep patterns are due to the 4 month wakeful period.

Now, I was really banking on his sleep getting better at 4 months. Julia told me so, and I figured she did way more research about this kind of stuff than I have. (Julia, if you’re reading this, please reassure me this wakeful period thing doesn’t last long.) But the ladies of the board told me that Brodie is not going through another growth spurt despite waking up every other hour throughout the night. He eats at normal 3 hour intervals during the day; just seems he’s hungry at night again.

So I go and google “4 month wakeful period”, and I find that because he’s developing so fast these days, he’s making mental connections with everything around him. And when everything around him is so very interesting, he’s super distracted when he tries to eat (oh, is he ever). He’s not really getting full meals during the day by looking all around and giving up on eating once he’s had a little bit. So he makes up for it at night when it’s dark and quiet and there aren’t distractions.

Thanks, kid.

I feel like I need to put blinders on him when he eats now. His eyes are wandering and his head turns this way and that. I’m sure his congestion isn’t helping either. And I can only imagine that he’s not that great a bottle eater a school with all the other kids around and toys and noises.

It makes a lot of sense. It really does. But I want that week back when we were in Dallas, and he slept 8-9 hours uninterrupted at night. Such a tease. I’m exhausted.

Posted in Breastfeeding, Brodie | 5 Comments